walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
