What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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