I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
