I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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