Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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