Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
All the doctor said was why
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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