I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
