Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
