where am i from again
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
