i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
