Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
