what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
