do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
