You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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