Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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