when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
