I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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