Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
