I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
