all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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