oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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