Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
