There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
