The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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