no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
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