Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize