She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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