he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Your penis caused this!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
