Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
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