You made me cry and you don't even care
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
