three words: i give head
three words: not that well
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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