All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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