This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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