There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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