i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
