did you get engaged???
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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