she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
