your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
