operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
