Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
