Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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