My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
