and she was petting her beer can
This house was built for laser tag.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
