people are starting to question the shark bite story
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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