peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
