brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
