I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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