So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
