Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
