ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
