She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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