Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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