her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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