her vagine was all disorganized.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
