Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
