can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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