they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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