dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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