Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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