my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
