a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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