there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize