i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
